Divorce forces a lot of decisions you never expected to make, and the question of “what do we do with the house?” is one of the biggest. It’s emotional, it’s financial, and it often requires untangling years — sometimes decades — of shared life. Most people feel overwhelmed, unsure where to start, and afraid of making the wrong move.

I’ve worked with divorcing homeowners across Frankfort, Mokena, New Lenox, Tinley Park, Orland Park, and the surrounding suburbs for nearly two decades. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: you don’t need all the answers at once — you just need a clear, calm path forward.

1. Understanding Who Has Authority

One of the first things you must clarify is who has the legal right to make decisions about the home. This isn’t always simple. Authority can shift depending on the divorce stage, what’s written in the marital settlement agreement, and whether temporary agreements are in place.

Three Common Scenarios:

  • Married and co-titled: Both spouses must sign to sell, refinance, or transfer ownership.
  • Separated but not divorced: Both parties still typically have rights unless a court order states otherwise.
  • Post-judgment: The divorce decree outlines who gets the home or how it must be sold.
Important: Real estate agents cannot override court orders. Authority comes from the title, the courts, or the marital settlement — not from mutual verbal agreements.

2. Three Paths: Keep, Sell, or Buy Out

Most divorcing homeowners face one of these three paths. Each comes with benefits, challenges, and emotional weight.

Option 1: One Spouse Keeps the Home

This typically requires refinancing the mortgage into one spouse’s name, buying out the other’s equity, and removing the other spouse from title. It’s a clean option — but only if the home is affordable for the spouse staying.

Option 2: Sell the Home and Split Proceeds

This is the most common path. Selling the home provides clarity, cash, and a clean financial break. It also avoids a scenario where one person is burdened with a home they can’t maintain.

Option 3: Temporary Co-Ownership

Some people delay selling due to school schedules, market timing, or financial constraints. This can work — but only with clear expectations and legal structure.

3. The Emotional Side of Selling a Home During Divorce

This is where conflict often shows up. The home represents:

  • security,
  • family,
  • stability,
  • and sometimes unresolved emotions.

It’s common for spouses to disagree about price, repairs, timelines, or who should move out first. My role is to de-escalate, clarify, and create forward momentum without taking sides.

Perspective: The home is emotional, but the sale must be strategic.

4. Should You Buy First or Sell First?

In divorce situations, this question becomes even more complex because the timeline isn’t entirely yours. You may be dealing with temporary court orders, financial disclosures, and housing needs that change quickly.

Selling First Works Best When:

  • You need sale proceeds to purchase your next home.
  • You want a clean financial break.
  • You’re unsure of your long-term housing needs.

Buying First Works When:

  • You have strong financing independent of your spouse.
  • You need immediate housing stability (kids, work commute, safety).
  • Your marital agreement allows you to purchase before selling.

5. The Financial Factors Many People Overlook

Divorce changes your financial picture. A home that once worked for two incomes may not work for one. Before making decisions, clarify these items:

  • Your updated credit position — divorce can impact debt allocations.
  • Your new monthly affordability — taxes, utilities, insurance, and repairs.
  • Buyout amounts — based on home equity and appraised value.
  • Post-divorce lending guidelines — lenders view separated income differently.

Understanding the numbers early prevents roadblocks later on.

6. Preparing the Home for Sale

In divorce situations, preparation needs to be simple and neutral. You want the home to appeal to buyers, without triggering disputes between spouses.

Recommended Neutral Updates:

  • Decluttering shared spaces
  • Repainting with neutral colors
  • Minor repairs that prevent buyer objections
  • Deep cleaning
  • Removing personal photos and items

Your goal is to create a market-ready home that sells quickly and cleanly — not to remodel your way into more conflict.

7. Managing Communication Between Spouses

This is where many real estate transactions fall apart. In divorce, there are two decision-makers, two perspectives, and sometimes two attorneys.

What Works Well:

  • Clear email communication copied equally to both spouses.
  • Neutral, fact-based updates.
  • Setting expectations early about timelines and next steps.
  • Keeping the focus on shared financial outcome — not personal disagreement.

A structured communication plan prevents misunderstandings and protects everyone involved.

8. What Homeowners Often Regret

  • Waiting too long to make a decision — the limbo drains finances and emotions.
  • Letting emotions drive pricing — overpricing harms both parties.
  • Not clarifying authority — delays closings and complicates negotiations.
  • Trying to handle the home alone — divorce real estate is a specialty for a reason.

Final Thoughts

Divorce is difficult enough without adding real estate chaos to the mix. You don’t have to make rushed decisions, and you don’t have to navigate it alone. With a calm plan, clear timelines, and the right support, you can protect your equity, reduce stress, and take the next step with confidence.

If you’re facing a divorce and unsure what to do with the home, I’m here to help you map out your options, explain what to expect, and guide you through the process one steady step at a time.